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Monday, June 30, 2014

2nd Day of Ramadan

So, apparently when I'm fasting this year, I get hyper?
I don't understand it much either.

I bit my little sister thrice and the last time I bit her, it was while we were eating. She reached her arm in front of my plate to grab a soda can and I just bit her arm so quickly that I barely noticed what I was doing. She yelped and pulled her arm back just as quickly and we both burst out laughing at the table. The rest of the family had no idea what I just did, which made it all the more hilarious.

before I broke fast, I was hopping along on the tiles in the hallway like a complete idiot, and my older sister walked out of the room just in time for me to land on her toes. She screamed and I started apologizing insanely, because she was NOT amused....and in pain.. She brushed it off because I was too weird for her to handle and I just scurried inside my room.

Also, my dad didn't travel. I guess he was bluffing after all, alhamdulellah.


Sunday, June 29, 2014

Nakad in Ramadan

Well, I should've known when I woke up to the sight of my sister eavesdropping on my dad's phone call that today will not go well.

My dad had a huge fight with his mom on the phone because he wanted my uncle to apologize to my mom for what he said to her four months ago. He wanted Ramadan, the month of forgiveness, to go by smoothly without any problems (ironically).

I suppose that's when Murphy's Law kicks into action. I don't know what happened exactly, but somewhere around three my dad started screaming at his end of the line.
It ended with him telling his mom that he's leaving for Qatar and not coming back. I don't know if he's serious or bluffing, my dad is impulsive and has a short temper.

She had him close to tears, he went in the kitchen to talk to my mom and his voice was cracking. This must be the third time I hear him crying in my whole life. He says he can't take it anymore...

She's insane...and she's manipulative and conniving.

And the older I grow, the more I realize that the abuse my grandmother inflicted on my dad did not end in his childhood. No longer  physical, it's strictly emotional now.
She uses him, and he knows. And it hurts him to know what kind of mother he has. He even joked about it bitterly once after ending a call with her saying what a caring mother she is.

I don't wanna go into details with her. I just hope God sends them somewhere far away from us. I don't care where, I just hope it's soon.

It was also my sister's birthday. She turned 12. We made kusa mahshe with dawalli. It's basically stuffed zucchini and grape leaves, I stuffed two cucumbers too because we had extra stuffing.

I also made my little sis the cake she wants, and I almost lost my mind doing it because I didn't have the recipe I got from my uncle's wife. I found any basic cake online and made it, then I improvised with the caramelized apples.
the sugar clotted though, and so mom poured a lot of water on it and I was barely able to control the frustration I had about that. It was a very soggy cake, so I like..tilted the cake and poured out all the sweet water out. It was ridiculous, but everyone said it tasted soooo good. I don't know if they're lying or not, but when I served it, dad kept making fun of it until I couldn't help but laugh. They really cheered me up.
Mom also made awama, which I think I already explained the concept of in another post. It's a sphere shaped arabic dessert made of fried dough.

I just noticed that we totally forgot to sing my sister happy birthday, but hey, we already celebrated it on Friday!

I also burnt my chest, nipple, foot, arms and my mom's hand in the process of aggressively mixing the boiling water. But it's all good, no second degree burns or anything!


Saturday, June 28, 2014

I keep checking my phone.

I don't know what I'm waiting for. I don't know what I'm hoping to happen.

So stupid, so weird, so pathetic, but

I keep checking my phone.

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Apple seed

Yesterday, very late at night, I cut an apple in half and ate one half.
This morning, I woke up with an apple seed in my panties, no I really am not sure how it got there.


Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Family I wish I wasn't related to

I suppose the title pretty much states that this will be a rant about the piece of shit excuse of a "family" I was born into.

I don't want to ever forget this for my uncle and grandma:

When I was in Canada, a huge fight broke over two months ago in kuwait. My youngest uncle from my dad's side of the family was already angry with his sister's husband but was forced to go to his place (not sure why). Anyways, he is also engaged and sat separated from the group of adults talking while having his face glued to the screen of his phone.

They told my aunt's husband that my uncle was getting married, and his reply was "Really? mabrook (congratulations)" 
After everyone left home, my uncle called his brother in law and asked him why he was so rude for not congratulating him, and he cussed him out and screamed. The reaction was for his brother in law to tell him that if he steps foot in his house he will kick his ass and he probably cussed him out right back.

Mom heard about this phone call from my aunt; as she told her to go talk to her brother to calm him down. My mom went upstairs (my grandparents/uncle live in an apartment in the same building my parents live in) to have a word with him. She told him that he was in the wrong, and that his brother in law indeed did congratulate him. My uncle got really angry and told my mom "Of course you would say something like that since you live in Ahlamek alwardeya (literally "pink world" meaning "lala land")
Mom got really angry that he would speak to her that way, she told us they he even came close to her and hovered over her saying he kept his ears close to the convo and didn't hear him say mabrook. (as if that's even important)
When mom insisted that she heard him congratulate him, my uncle then proceeded to turn to his mother (my grandmother) and exclaimed "See what happens when you bring the manayek(whores)and sharameet (bitches) to the house!!"
My mom; at that, held in all her rage and told him something (I don't remember) then told grandma that it's quite clear that their coffee is undrinkable (meaning people aren't welcomed in her house) she then left their house.

Soon after, my dad went upstairs to calm my uncle and make peace; not knowing my mom already went and got yelled at. He too, received a similar treatment and then he went downstairs to my mother. My mother waited two days before telling my dad about what his brother told him because she didn't want my already angry dad to reach a point where he'll hit his brother.

Until today, my uncle gave a half assed apology to my dad OVER THE PHONE and did not apologize or speak to my mother. He and grandma have been telling my aunt that he didn't call her a slut, but he told her to eat shit (as if that's supposed to be any better). Mom's answer was that she will not accept any apology from him (if he ever does apologize) until he swears on the Holy Quran that he didn't in fact call her a slut and a whore and to damn himself if he did. That's my mothers condition on an apology, and she says until then, he's not welcome in her house.

I can NOT believe that my uncle would tell my mom such things. She's 1) a woman 2) double his age 3) not related to him. So, by what right does he accuse her of adultery so easily as if it was common speech. She's not even his sister...She's not even his age...and he talked trash TO HER. A woman who has been feeding you every time grandma wasn't around and has been inviting you over for breaking fast in ramadan and my dad who partly paid for your rent and education in university. By WHAT RIGHT does he speak to my mother like that. So fucking rude. I hope something happens to him and my mom is there to see him lose face.

And what's worse, is that today my dad phoned my mom and she told him she wanted to invite his sister( who came yesterday from California) to lunch, and my dad had the nerve THE NERVE to ask her to invite his parents...and since we're at it, his brother. THE SAME BROTHER!
My mom got so mad at him that she told him off. She was so angry when she came home... I hate seeing mom upset. We're praying that she finds a job in Qatar so she can leave this disgusting country, and the disgusting people in it. I can't just stand seeing mom get walked over and then act as if nothing happened. But I don't know what to do other than pray.

More shit happened by the way, but... this is the only thing I know..and the only thing I remember from what my mom told me.

Talk about monsters in law,

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Echo Cardiograph

Today I took the result of my holter monitor and I performed an echo cardiograph test. An echo allowed the physician to see my heart in 2-D and 3-D and to take a picture of it. This allows her to see the valves of my heart in case there is anything visibly or functionally wrong with them so we can eliminate and risk factors to my palpitations. It was basically an ultrasound test for the heart.

 I lay topless on my left side with one hand under my head and the other by my side ( i was covered by a sheet unlike the way Canada does it!) She then pressed a lubed probe to my chest and looked at my heart. After a few minutes I lay on my back and she pressed it to my chest cavity to see the inferior venacava, then she pressed it below my neck to see the superior venacava. I watched some of it with her, I even got a chance to hear some of beats, it sounded like suction, but I'm not sure. The probe she poked me with was covered with the same lube that an ultrasound's would have and that was so hard to wipe off. Like you wipe and wipe but it stays there, so I just put my shirt on. When I got home it was all dried up though, like lotion.

As I expected, there is nothing wrong with my valves nor my regular heart rate as I did not have any palpitations when I was strapped to the holter monitor. Though, apparently when I exercise, my heart reached 201 bpm and when I was asleep at 7 am, my heart rate was as low as 41 bpm. Normal resting heart beat is from 60 - 100 bpm, but for athletes it can drop as low as 28 bpm or so. I do exercise twice weekly, but I think it's also how my body is by nature.

I feel guilty for letting mom pay 70KD which is about 230 $ for the echo test, but she insisted. I feel like it would've been the only way to allow her to see that there is nothing physically wrong with my heart. To be honest, I also personally wanted to eliminate the Wolff-Parkinson-White syndrom. I told the Dr. that and she was amazed that I knew what it was and told my mom that I didn't need to come since I seemed to have already diagnosed myself (with PSVT). The doctor also said there was no need to take measures for it but in the case that it lasts longer than it should, I should go to the ER to get a diagnosis and if it starts bothering me, then there could be ways to stop the palpitations. To be honest, I want none of that, I simply want a diagnosis.

My blood test also showed everything about thyroid, electrolytes, blood cells, and iron being fine; however, I have a decline in vitamin D. It's 14.37 when it's supposed to be 20-40. So, The doctor prescribed me a dosage for 8 weeks.

Before I left her office, she shook my hand and told me she wished that all her patients were like me. I was baffled by such a compliment and wasn't sure what type of people she meets on a daily basis. My mom was there to hear it and she told me when we were leaving, that moments like these, when she hears people tell us those things that she feels like she raised us right. I feel the same too to be honest.


Monday, June 23, 2014

Quote of the Day: Kitchen

My younger sister walked in on me and looked down at me as I was crouching down in front of my text book. "What are you doing?" She asked. "I'm studying." I replied, then she asked, " IN THE KITCHEN?!"
Then she opened the fridge's door and I simply closed it without even looking up from my book then told her "It's cold."
Her reaction was pretty funny.

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Holter Monitor

Hey, I know I have not updated in forever and  A LOT has happened, so I will try to go over it in other posts. This post will be just about today!

Mom woke me up this morning to go to the doctor, aren't those fun? nope, anyways, I didn't go in the morning I ended up going in the afternoon.

We ate KFC today! My God, Kuwait's KFC tastes sooo much better than the one in Canada! It's cheaper too, of course.

Anyways, I previously went to the cardiologist with dad and we asked for a blood test, an echo, a holter monitor, and she did an electric cardiograph on me (ECG) which gave normal results.

The Echo was rejected while the others were approved of, so I went to take the blood test and to strap on the holter monitor.

The holter monitor is a device that measures the heart rate for 24 hours and it's also portable. They taped three probes on my torso, one on my chest and two on my lower ribs. The nurse then rolled the wire and taped it twice, then I wore the monitor around my neck.
Holter monitor strapped on

I'm doing all of this because I have heart palpitations and I want a diagnosis, so perhaps if I get to have my palpitations while I'm wearing the monitor, the monitor will catch and record the rate and pace of my heart. Unfortunately, I can't trigger it, so it's extremely unlikely to catch anything on the monitor. I will try going to the gym tomorrow and doing sudden moves and flips in an attempt to trigger it. I usually have it when I do sudden movements. It comes twice a month for me usually, but last term it came twice in a week because twice a week I would be out of the house for about 12 hours, 2 hours of them would include karate practice. I also had many midterms, three labs a weeks, volunteering, and little sleep. That type of stress on my body, I assume, induced the palpitations.

I took a blood test then left to the fabric store to buy something for my sister's dress. She's going to be the maid of honor in her friend's wedding, and we need to design a jacket to match the dress.

Man, with the heat and sweat, the monitor got all itchy under my clothes and it was really irritable, but it's fine now that I'm at home. The tape was also a little uncomfortable and itchy. To be honest, I'm not sure how I will sleep tonight!

Saturday, June 14, 2014

Introduction to mom's B-day Gift

At our late teens and early twenties we wonder what will become of us and what we will accomplish in life thirty years from now. We wonder how many kids we will have if we ever have any at all, what career path we would have followed and under what conditions we will be living in, but most importantly, will we lead a good life?

After we have lived for half a century, we look back and ask ourselves the same questions. Have we lived a good life?

This is a journal to help you look back at all the good times you spent with us on your fiftieth year.

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Flight delay

So, our flight from Toronto to Amsterdam was two hours and a half late, but then became one and a half hours late, which will only give us 55 minutes to catch the next plane to Kuwait. Let's do the math guys, ten minutes landing, 15 minutes before the passengers leave the plane, ten minutes in case the flight delays further, that gives us only 20 minutes to find the gate and to board! While it's true that it isn't our first time in Amsterdam's airport, and it's a really organized and easy airport to maneuver in, that doesn't mean we will make it. Anything can happen in those vital 20 mins; the plane could be extra late, or the gate could change, or we could somehow get lost! So, we concluded that we will have to run because after calling KLM, they told us there are no other planes to Kuwait that day, and that even if they sent out a mini car to take us, they can't guarantee that they will show up. My sister was also wearing a dress and flats, and told me she wont be able to run. So, we both agreed that I will do the running in hopes of stalling the line for her. I always wear sneakers to the airport just for these scenarios!
Thankfully, we made it. We didn't have to run or anything, though I did squeeze my way out from a few passengers and left my sister behind, it turned out the gate we were meant to go to was literally the next gate on the right ...then they changed it and made it across from that, but it's all good!

We made it home in one piece alhamdulellah.

Quote of the Day: Weird

While I was talking to Dana, I said: Hey, I'm not weird!
Mom: Yes, you are and you've always been. It's what makes you special.

hehe, she's so sweet.