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Monday, September 15, 2014

Dean's List: Part 2

I don't know if anyone remembers this post: Dean's List since it only received 3 views, but I was basically talking about how my friend Kira was in the dean's list due to her minimum of A- GPA in her first year.
I was extremely jealous, and I strived all second year to left my grades up so that I can be in the Dean's list, but most importantly, to get a scholarship achievement reward of 1000$.


I slaved over the second semester of second year, but I'm sure it was the first semester that helped me rock those grades. AUGH! I feel like, I've actually said something and did it, that I was true to my word, that I'm not just talk.

I really wanna be a doctor.

This year is more important than the previous. I need a minimum of A-, no, I should aim higher. I want my GPA to be 3.9

I need to get my act together, and I still wanna be a doctor, and I still want med school despite having to work and study for it until I'm thirty! My mom slaves at her job to what is considered minimum wage in this country and she's an accountant. I used to remember the days when she came home at 11 pm and I don't want that.
Everyone tells me how difficult and arduous it will be to be a doctor. Specially since I'm a girl. 
That I will not have time for family, for kids, for a man, for a social life because it will take a minimum of ten years to be one. How it won't be worth it, how difficult the job itself will be for a woman to perform because I might be on call.
Every time I say med school "Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure?"

How close minded these people are.

No, I'm not sure. I'm unsure if I'll even be alive tomorrow. And no, I still don't have that one reason that ignites my passion to be a doctor. I do things without much thought, yet at the same time I do think it over and over and realize how I don't have a passion for much else either. 

But I believe in fate and destiny. I believe that I control the things in which I have a choice in, but do not control that which I don't. Mom told me, even if I wasn't going to be a doctor, that won't determine when I will get married if I even do get married. She reminded me that my aunt received no college education yet she married at 30. How hard you work at your job and how much time it consumes is not just for doctors. I can be anything and still end up coming home at midnight. 

I won't forget the man who told me that it is best to work hard the first half of my life, so that I can enjoy the other half. I want that.
Most importantly, I WANT MONEY. I don't just want to get by in life, or feel threatened of being broke one month or the other. And I don't want to rely on my husband's income either. I WANT MONEY, I need money, we all need money. I need to have enough money that I can afford paying for anything and everything. 250,000 a year is a great salary. I can take care of my parents, pay for my little sister's education, support my sister if she needs it, afford buying a house without taking decades to save up enough for a down payment. I don't want to EVER deal with interest, and I don't want ANYONE to deal with it either.
I want to have a big enough house that I can potentially permanently foster at least two children. Maybe I'll have so much money that I can afford having my own orphanage/school that any child is welcome to stay in, live, eat, and get schooled in if they wish not attend a public school.
I don't know how many jobs offer 250,000 that can grab my interest, but this one does!
And it's even a pretty ethical honest job with tons of respect!

Or maybe I'm just doing this to spite people

Who knows why,

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