Research Assistant intensifies!

Today was a bit productive. I mean I have been procrastinating everything and have accomplished virtually nothing over the reading week but go into karate drama (of which I need to make the skit a comic) and contact my psych professor. He was sweet enough to tell me that he appreciated my effort to contact him. Isn't that sweet? I love people like that, I wish I can have the ability to say nice things to people when I think it. I tend to space off or just smile instead. I'm working on it though!

I did manage to go over every thing that will be in Conservation Biology midterm. That professor is nice too but she's not the type of over and beyond nice. Just normal nice. Also, I worked on my Korean friend's honour's project for an hour just counting up lemna leaves. Now I have two research assistant experiences!

Speaking of research assistant. I shall call her bird lady, she ran into me after I was done counting and told me that I was the first on her mind for needed help on the science conference. I'm not sure if I will be getting paid for it or not because in that conversation she said "paid" and she said "volunteer". She assured me there will be food and coffee breaks. It's a total of 3 days, 11-13 of March (weekend). So, I should be free somewhat, but I do have to double check my schedule. I am only free after 11 am on Saturday, so I will tell her that.

She's also a very sweet person. Surprisingly blunt, but she's also blunt with compliments as well. Giving me a key to the lab is still a working process but I can't complain. Specially about how relaxed she is with me.

It just feels so good when people are satisfied with your services. I hope everyone can feel this way.

Peace,
M.D.

Open House

My day started at 10ish am. Uncharacteristically, I took my time and did not care to rush to my volunteer position at 11 am at the local Masjid (mosque). There was an open house that day and I went to arrange food on trays to place on the tables. It was rather odd and there were many flaws, but it was overall pretty well.

I would have rather that the money that went into the food go for donations or fundraising, but you know what? I believe some Syrian Refugee families dropped by and it's good to get them to be part of the community.

I really did enjoy placing food on trays, I realized how much I love working with my hands, and working solo. I mean, I do appreciate and enjoy working with others, just not a crowd. A small intimate gathering is as much as I can muster.

I then bought some halal chicken and sheep hearts for tomorrow. After I went home, we ate some steak and veggies while watching Terminator 2: Judgement Day.
It was really nice, I watched it as a kid, but I never appreciated the plot as much until now. I mean, for a 25 year old movie it was very well made. I really liked John Conners, made me really sad.

I actually managed to sleep in the last hour an hour of the movie. I just would not wake up for the next few hours. I even dreamt of not being able to move my body or speak. I tried so hard in the dream to grab my sister's attention to my problem. It was very surreal, as we were positioned on the same place I slept in.

Anyways, after I woke up from my comma, we went to a drive in the car for a bit, bought some DQ then went home and watched the Avengers 2: Days of Ultron. I guess it's sequels day?

I was also checking my burnt gum using my sister's foundation mirror and she freaked out for a little bit "Don't eat my makeup!"
So, I told her that I burnt my mouth again, I taste that metallic taste and that I feel the skin dangling in there. She got grossed out and dropped it.

Now, my sister is asleep.

Peace,
M.D.

1st Kyu

Officially got my 1st Kyu, about fucking time.

Now, all I have to do is magically find a way to continue practicing shotokan karate so I can upgrade to a black belt. I hope I can enter my university next year as an illumni for karate.

Wah, today I cramped up so badly in karate that I actually thought I had my period. Talk about awkward.

The Decapitator

So, even when I skip karate, I still get palpitations on a Thursday? Is this a regular thing now?

I was just starting a work out with my sister when it happened. Not too bad though, only around 180 beats/ min.

That aside, I slept at 5 am yesterday working on a 2% report and studying for my PSYC midterm.

I'm so happy the weekend is here! I need to not procrastinate it. I decided to skip karate tonight because I was just exhausted and needed a break. It's amazing how much time karate consumes now. Four hours a week. It's pretty intense, and I enjoy it, but I wish I didn't have so many other things to do.

FC still did not get back to me on my new students to tutor. I seem to not find any time in my schedule to tutor, not because I'm too busy but rather most of their days are on Tuesdays, and they generally are done around 3:30 for one on one tutoring. It's rather annoying but understandable.
I hope I passed my 1st kyu retest. I'd hate to have "half passed" it again. Augh!

Today's lab included dissecting drosophila (fruit fly) larvae. I did most of the dissecting as I guess have a knack for it. We had to remove the salivary glands then stain it, and look at the chromosomes. It was rather interesting, I thoroughly enjoy dissections that one of my partners asked if I should be an examiner physician and be the one who classifies the causes of death.  Not too shabby.

Peace,
M.D.

Weathered Wednesday

It kinda makes me sad that I procrastinated writing and drawing about anime for so long...
I can't wait until I start face painting again in the summer. I at least have that to look forward to after my graduation. I'm mortified by the whole no plan thing. I mean, I have ALWAYS got a plan, and I do, but it is just not following through the way I wished for it to be.

I guess this is another rant on med school, I better end it here before I yank the hair roots out of my head.

Today I finished early with school, then helped my sister out slightly with her paper. I then went with her to pick up Lina and drove to Moxie or what ever to eat.

Two more friends showed up there and we ate...or rather pigged out. Consequence, diarrhea. As gross as it is, I don't know how else to state it. Just my sister and I though, we were badly dressed for the weather I suppose.

I have yet to be contacted by one of my volunteer places. It seems I will be switching students I tutor, but I'm still unsure who I will be with as my programmer is busy organizing this.

Also, tomorrow, I'll have a long day ahead of me. I hope it goes well, I'm really tired. Not as tired as first or second year of university, that was torturous. I just need to do better, I know I can, I just need to do my absolute best!

Peace,
M.D.

Research Assistant

Thank God my Mondays this semester are really good. Since I have only one class on Monday that starts at 1:00 pm, I was able to take the car to school... (yes, we have a Toyota Matrix now!)

After class I went to the library to take pictures of the assigned readings from a book on reserve at the library because I'm too cheap to buy the actual book. Why spend 160 dollars when I can access it for free?

Afterwards, I had 40 minutes left before the two hour parking space is at its limit, so I went to the Bird professor's office in order to finish parafilming the blood samples. I now volunteer as RA (research assistant) for one of the professors at my university. I think it is the most convenient volunteer position I have had thus far. It had taken me almost two hours to parafilm all the samples, but it was over today. Upon informing the prof of such, she informed me that I come often enough to the lab/ office that she will try to get me my own key. How flattering is that? I think that made my day! She did not seem to look forward to volunteer research assistants because she told me that they find difficulties committing to the job. She's not entirely wrong, I know I will slack off mid semester and probably deteriorate by the end of it. This is why I am doing my best to put as much of my free time between classes and after classes to help out. This will make me look good in front of her, first of all, as I do wish to impress. And second of all, I really do know my limits and I want to take advantage of the fact I have only one class on Monday, and that I some times drop by on Fridays to study with a friend.

After I was done with the blood samples, I drove to pick up my sister so we can go to the mall together. It really was nice hanging out together, we really have not been leaving the house together in such a long time. Maybe since we got back from Kuwait in early January!

We shopped for a gift for Lina, we got her a necklace and a birthday card. I hope she likes them, she has been really stressed with her boarding exams.
My sister then drove me home and went to the night class. My sister's classes this semester suck ass and I honestly am surprised she's not breaking down already. She usually gets extremely anxious and stressed, and while I know she is stressed, she seems to be handling it a lot better than before.
I should probably tell her that! I have a habit of keeping nice things in my head and saying mean things..that's not right.

I better go catch some sleep.

Peace,

M.D.

Unicorn man

Again, been so long to the point I'm unsure what to start with.
How I feel, what occurred recently, today's events, my achievements thus far, keeping up with current events..Augh..

There's too much to talk about that I'm overwhelmed.

Today, a friend I've been talking to since I was 12 has proposed to me online. I know nothing will happen, and I told him that. but he did tell me he's "kinda serious". Every once in a while he would bring up marriage as a statement. He was the first person to tell me that I would make a good wife. Maybe the only person to even say that, honestly. The person that kept talking to me about hugs until I've learned to accept them (I still don't like them from most people, but I definitely stopped dodging them!)
A lot of it is just basic maturity I suppose. He was also the first guy to tell me I'm beautiful and now he's the first to bring up marriage talk. I mean a bunch of other guy friends would joke about marriage with me. but, I guess he's the first. It's so odd that he's not even my type physically or personality wise. We don't even like the same things, certainly we talk differently, different cultures and religions...What does he see in me again?
He even talks to me about all the girls he likes or dated or just slept with...so I find it odd that he would want someone he never met in person. Makes me wonder how bad the women in his area are.
Imagine my parents' reaction to someone online marrying me.

"How did you meet?" They'll ask. What will I say?

I've been trying to make the guys I like dislike me.. I talk about other men in front of them so that they would know I too get attracted to other people. I talk about periods to disgust them. I joke around and say violent things. But since we're friends, I suppose I only grow on them.
On other news, another friend who keeps joking about marrying me as well has finally grown attracted to a girl. I don't know if he will try dating her or not, and it does hurt a bit..but I'm sorta happy for him.
I can't help but feel a bit sad that I'm not the centre of his attention, but I know it's only good for him to like someone he can date. I made that conclusion years back with the first guy.

Enough of that!

Today I broke one of the trays my sister had for my graduation "party", so I will try to look for another one in Winners'. I also talked to my mom on the phone for a bit then cooked roasted chicken. It actually tasted amazing, and I don't even like chicken! It could have been because I was fasting, 5 more days left. Muslimas will understand.

Also, I did not do much with regards to studying, which is stressing me out. I did; however, have a busy week and weekend, so it was nice to have a full day chilling by myself and relaxing and sleeping late.
Thank God my Mondays are not hectic, but I do have to go shopping for a gift for Lina!

Peace,
M.D.

Tumors!

I'm so happy and tired with this field trip to the pathology lab in VG. It was so much fun.
I knew we might have the opportunity to see and touch tumors, but I didn't imagine it would be 10 different ones or that they would be on such odd body places. I thought we would see the more common ones such as breast, colon, lung and skin, but I was not aware that the skin cancer would be growing on areas like the vulva! Or how oddly shaped some body parts become after proliferation of cancer, or such odd areas like fat on the thighs, or such a huge tumor in the mouth. I think that one shocked me a bit. I think I loved it, to touch and observe and diagnose things. I think it isn't such a bad job. Problem is, I would still need to be an M.D. for that.
I love our cancer prof, she is by far one of the best profs here. So dedicated, I hope she gets tenure.

The only problem with that field trip was that I got such a huge headache looking at slides. I honestly felt a little dizzy then the doc said it's because we're not used to seeing so many screens.

Overall, it was thrilling and axilirating. I hated how the system did not respond to the idea of a barcode before a problem occurred. It could have been avoided, and the staff did their best, but alas, our health system needs some serious help. There's also a horrible doctor to patient ratio. People are only increasing, and with 25 thousand refugees coming and ageing babyboomer population we need to hire more doctors! we can't exhaust the staff.

card

I'm no longer apologizing for not updating as frequently or writing down funny sketches that I think of, or quotes, because it just happens too often. I'm too busy, and that's the reality of it.

I am of no importance to him... I need to keep telling myself that.

I started volunteering at Frontier college yesterday, I don't know if I am doing well, but it is only my first time.

I got through my second Japanese Culture midterm. I think I did okay, at least a B+...but who knows.

two little sketches for the future comic in my head:

Today while showing the university patrol my card, I flipped it out of my wallet and threw it to the air and on the floor 4 feet away from me. super awkward, she didnt even smile.

also, sex class fisting,,twice. funny story

I think I nailed Jion in kata now too.

Peace,
MD

A Dream of a boarding school: part 1

So, my dream today was another movie.

There was this tall white young man maybe 17-20 of age. He was the leader of four that trys to save the world from destruction. Every year, or if one of his three chosen ones mess up, he obliterates them in a sense. they just disappear without a trace, assumed to be dead.

This year I was chosen along with two others, but the problem was we were in a strict boarding school that disallows almost everything. Everything had a schedule and a certain order to it. 'He' didn't talk much, 'he' was rather cold even though we were to share the same mattress. The four of us had our own room and two mattresses to share. I remember he wrote something down on a comic book then when bedtime inspectors were approaching, he quickly jumped under the sheets next to me and shoved the book under my thighs. I grew worried because this was my first night in this school and I still wasn't too sure of the system. I turned to ask the teacher that was inspecting the room what was going on, the fat short lady told us that there were two things she was looking for: books and pyjamas. I tucked myself in tight and grabbed one of my novels to hide under my pillow but with my shuffling she walked towards the end of my mattress, lifted the ends of the covers and grabbed the comic under me and my hidden book. I could already tell the boy next to me was immediately displeased, but he kept silent and still beneath the sheets.
I climbed out of the makeshift bed and questioned what she will do with it and tried to negotiate it with her, that I wasn't aware of the rules, that it won't happen again. She seemed sympathetic but a little alarmed that i was not in my bed, she told me as long as she sees it she will take it,  and as long as no one sees me they can't punish me.  She tried to hurry me back in bed before the head of the staff arrived. I asked her what would become of me if I was caught taking the book back. She replied "somewhere between 3 years and life" I was so shocked but I rushed back into my mattress and pretended to sleep with the other 3 before the head mistress arrived in her black fitted dress. Her job was to ensure that all the teachers did their jobs, she was merciless. (for some reason she did look like that skinny teacher from Jacob two two!!)

When everyone left, I had planned to sneak out, but first i was looking around for what else she may have took. Without me noticing, the boy had already reached the door and snuck out. I grabbed his arm and told him I can do it, or that I will at least come with him. He looked down at me with the same displeased look, but he didn't honestly care about me or team work. He just had one thing in mind, the comic book.
We walked on some squeaky floors before reaching the kitchen in which a pile of confiscated goods lay on the table. I was staring in awe, wondering where I was and what is going on, but anxious because of the squeaky flooring, but he was already shuffling through the stack. He grabbed the comic book and left me and so I hurriedly grabbed my book and followed after. All the noise woke the teacher previously in our room, but she was no longer trying to assist us and grabbed me. He never looked back to help me out, but only rushed to his room. -dream cutoff, but let's continue-

 I struggled wildly in her arm, afraid it could further increase the punishment i was to receive, I stopped. I tried to reason my way out of it, and she told me tomorrow I will have a light consequence, and not to worry because she will not inform the headmistress. She then guided me back to my room and i snuck back inside petrified of what it could be, but glad it wasn't the headmistress that got me.

My punishment was not bad at all, it was boring, but it certainly was not bad considering jail. 'He' still hasn't spoken a word to me since yesterday night, and for recess and lunch time I had to stand in a small chalk circle drawn around my feet and not move nor eat from there. The other two members pitied me and started kicking a small rounded eraser inside the circle to entertain me with a tiny game of soccer. I was only able to participate if they kicked it within the perimeter of the circle.

The headmistress was walking around the playground ensuring that everyone was following rules and guidelines and was not happy to see me. She looked at the eraser then at the short curly haired boy who kicked it and grabbed his arm. "20 lashes" she said. The boy's face dropped and he looked at me scared. He was only 14, so I began arguing against it to try to lift the punishment. She looked visibly disgusted by me and screamed at me that it wasn't my place to talk, I tried to negotiate it with her and then she smirked. "If you wanna take his punishment, then it will be 40 lashes."
"but, I didn't do ..." "50." She cut me off.
I stopped talking and closed my lips tightly, I looked around for help as if begging with my eyes, all eyes of the play ground were on me now, including 'him'. No one dared speak, neither did I blame them. I nodded, then with a grin she grabbed me by the elbow and led me to the centre of the field. "Break is over! back to your rooms!" She hollered before dragging me to her office.