Face Paint Contest

Unbelievable!

I entered this Face Painting Contest with Grommjow's Hollow from Bleach as a face paint mask.
At first, I thought I would enter for the fun of it, but after I heard that the voter's pick will get a 100$ gift certificate for face painting supplies, I asked my family on watsapp if they can vote for me. Within the day I had 40 votes. It was astonishing!

First place quickly became second and she lingered 10 votes behind me for every vote and it was a little nerve racking. When my family saw this and saw her jump a sudden 30 votes within an hour I told them it's hopeless. I'm a realist, not an optimist,but they told me to keep my faith strong.

Long story short, I won with 158 votes, second place 117 votes. It was AMAZING.

By then I wasn't even sure where the votes were coming from or who was voting.

Since I'm an Arab, I don't have a family tree, I have a family forest.

Everyone played their parts perfectly. My five ants and uncles scattered around different countries asked for their co-workers and friends to vote. My cousins in Jordan, Egypt and Kuwait also asked their friends and asked groups from university to vote. My mom's cousin whose children were victims of the Chapel Shooting asked his daughters' friends to vote.

At this point, I couldn't hold back. I didn't want to win for me any more, I wanted to win for them!
My sisters asked their friends both online and real, and spammed groups and pages on facebook and asked study partners to vote. My sister's friends also asked their own friends.

My friends asked some of their friends and one girl asked her dad. It was intense. I also asked the karate crew, high school friends, online friends, an elementary school classmate, and I started asking random people I had added on twitter to vote. I even went on random chat rooms and managed about 10 people to vote as well.

Apparently, my grandma was in on this! She called her own friends and demanded they vote, their children and grandchildren to vote! Saying things like, oh let her represent the hijab! we can't let the foreigners win!

My mom made 4 email accounts and voted several times on her own. I just don't know what else could have been done. Everyone that I know voted or tried or even people I don't know!

Now I'm sure I will be the talk of the family in Kuwait for a while. It's just so nice to know that my family has my back on the most trivial of topics. So supportive and loving and encouraging. It's a new light of my family that I did not see before, did not have the chance to see before and I love it.

I want to always remember that every one. EVERY one of my family members, grandparents, young cousins, dad's aunts, mom's cousins voted for me or helped vote for me.

(you can see the face painting on instagram posted above or at instagram.com/movingdisaster)

Love and Peace,
MD

Frustration Day

mood: numb and a lil angst

Where to start?...from the morning, I guess.

Woke up exhausted and sleepy at 9 am, nothing new.
Walked to volunteer as I do every Saturday. I saw Kira and Page on my way out which is unusual. They let me know I had a package with my name on it. Which was really great because I loved that last year. It was a goody bag as a thank you for volunteering.

My mood got officially fucked when I called my mom. I call her about once a week or so, God forbid she picks up the phone on her part because she will disturb us or something. As if a missed call from her once in a while would be so bad.
No point in arguing over that one again.

She called to let me know that my sister had told her of what happened yesterday, which was that I did not want to proof read her paper. My mom told me that my sis always helps me out and she always offers to help me when she notices I'm in distress, which is true.
Mom told me not to let my sis know she told me of this, but she just wanted to hear my perspective of the story.
So, I told her I don't feel like it's fair that I have to worry about what other people have to do on top of the things I have due too.
As if I didn't know I was a shitty sister already, but am I really supposed to carry my bachelors degree on my shoulders and also get ready for surprise extra work on my DAY OFF. "day off", if you call waking up early morning to eat icecream with your volunteer group and research professor a day off...

I told mom that Friday was the only day I was able to relax in in two weeks (including weekend). I should have said 3 weeks, but I forgot I was busy the weekend before that too.

She told me that my sister wasn't complaining when she said all of this. And that I should have told her that, and that she just said she finally understood why I never ask her for help or always reject her offers to help. It's so that I don't feel obligated to help her.

I don't even know if that's even false. I do hate being obligated to do anything, but I also dislike asking for help and I don't like it when people do what I'm supposed to do because it will never be the same as my work and I just feel wrong. It's hard to explain.

Also, I know what I'm capable of, if I wanted to help her, I would have. I just didn't because I'm selfish and I want a fucking day off for FUCKS SAKE, because I still have things to do, but I figured if I can relax friday, then I can work on them on Saturday and Sunday.

My mom said I need to learn how to ask for help, but it's my shit anyways, I know what I can handle. It's just so frustrating.

Then I tell mom I need to go because I'm feeling like shit at this point. It isn't like I don't already know that I push my sister off a lot of times, but it just suffocates me and there's no good way to say that.

My mom asked why, and I told her, well I'm in the bus, I'm going to school. no, duh, back to how weekends don't exist for me.

She then apologized if she bothered me...but fuck.. I call once every week or two and all she says is shit that upsets me. awesome reinforcer to keep calling.

Then when I went to university to meet up with my group, as usual. One girl is a whole fucking hour and a half late because she forgot. and another girl was 20 minutes late.

So I ended up talking to Mash and her friend for a bit. I told her I will flip out if work doesn't get done, because I was so pissed after that phone call. Then I slumped on a chair and just drained out. She's a jumpy girl, so the convo flowed and I informed her I wasn't hormonal, because she said she was and that all girls are. Then she took a minute and said " don't take this the wrong way, but you're like a guy. You're soooo chill all the time. you're the only girl who doesn't get moody and hormonal."
Like, why would I ever reinforce that shit stereotype. Also, not all women PMS and I'm just a nervous wreck when I'm stressed unless it's close to due date.

I laughed it off. It wasn't anything new. I've been thinking I was more like a guy than a girl since I was 12. My disinterest in feminine things and chill attitude supposedly makes me less of a woman. My sister pointed that out a month ago when she bought herself new pants. I "didn't say the right words" I seemed uninterested and was just texting on my phone.
Augh, give me a break.

So, we got some stuff done, but I was a little on edge by the end of it,  I had to go buy groceries then cook.
I bought groceries, but I was so late that my sister just went to pick up something to eat, then she offered to give me a drive, but I just reached the store when she said that. Kind of annoying. It's so annoying...

I was so zoned out the rest of the day, and after eating I took a 2 hour nap, then my sister joined me for some of it which pissed me off because she was on my bed and was making me warmer.
I hate it when people touch me, I can't help it. I can fake some a little bit, force myself to hug briefly, but I hate it so much.

Everything I say is always wrong too, but then she wants me to communicate and talk. Would anyone run through a mine field? specially when they don't even enjoy running.

I'm just feeling like I'm in a dead zone. My brain's fried right now. I just wanted one day...
Just one day...
to do nothing.

I really want to live on my own sometimes...it would be boring and plain, and I know no one would talk to me, but.. I really hate when people expect me to do these things that are out of my comfort, when I'm supposed to be the most comfortable.

Peace,
M.D.

Science Conference

So, Dr. B has previously asked me to volunteer or help at the Science conference that my university is hosting this year.

I only volunteered for registration on Friday and cleanup on Sunday, but it was a lot of fun. I had some free food, I met a few students, apparently some of my professors were there like the fungus, physiology and genetics one. It was quite fun. Nice people.

Dr. B is too sweet she insisted on taking us out for ice-cream on Friday, let's see how it goes.
So far with research assistance, I did around 9 hours of volunteering.

I'm really glad I got to join in on this.

Research Assistant intensifies!

Today was a bit productive. I mean I have been procrastinating everything and have accomplished virtually nothing over the reading week but go into karate drama (of which I need to make the skit a comic) and contact my psych professor. He was sweet enough to tell me that he appreciated my effort to contact him. Isn't that sweet? I love people like that, I wish I can have the ability to say nice things to people when I think it. I tend to space off or just smile instead. I'm working on it though!

I did manage to go over every thing that will be in Conservation Biology midterm. That professor is nice too but she's not the type of over and beyond nice. Just normal nice. Also, I worked on my Korean friend's honour's project for an hour just counting up lemna leaves. Now I have two research assistant experiences!

Speaking of research assistant. I shall call her bird lady, she ran into me after I was done counting and told me that I was the first on her mind for needed help on the science conference. I'm not sure if I will be getting paid for it or not because in that conversation she said "paid" and she said "volunteer". She assured me there will be food and coffee breaks. It's a total of 3 days, 11-13 of March (weekend). So, I should be free somewhat, but I do have to double check my schedule. I am only free after 11 am on Saturday, so I will tell her that.

She's also a very sweet person. Surprisingly blunt, but she's also blunt with compliments as well. Giving me a key to the lab is still a working process but I can't complain. Specially about how relaxed she is with me.

It just feels so good when people are satisfied with your services. I hope everyone can feel this way.

Peace,
M.D.

Open House

My day started at 10ish am. Uncharacteristically, I took my time and did not care to rush to my volunteer position at 11 am at the local Masjid (mosque). There was an open house that day and I went to arrange food on trays to place on the tables. It was rather odd and there were many flaws, but it was overall pretty well.

I would have rather that the money that went into the food go for donations or fundraising, but you know what? I believe some Syrian Refugee families dropped by and it's good to get them to be part of the community.

I really did enjoy placing food on trays, I realized how much I love working with my hands, and working solo. I mean, I do appreciate and enjoy working with others, just not a crowd. A small intimate gathering is as much as I can muster.

I then bought some halal chicken and sheep hearts for tomorrow. After I went home, we ate some steak and veggies while watching Terminator 2: Judgement Day.
It was really nice, I watched it as a kid, but I never appreciated the plot as much until now. I mean, for a 25 year old movie it was very well made. I really liked John Conners, made me really sad.

I actually managed to sleep in the last hour an hour of the movie. I just would not wake up for the next few hours. I even dreamt of not being able to move my body or speak. I tried so hard in the dream to grab my sister's attention to my problem. It was very surreal, as we were positioned on the same place I slept in.

Anyways, after I woke up from my comma, we went to a drive in the car for a bit, bought some DQ then went home and watched the Avengers 2: Days of Ultron. I guess it's sequels day?

I was also checking my burnt gum using my sister's foundation mirror and she freaked out for a little bit "Don't eat my makeup!"
So, I told her that I burnt my mouth again, I taste that metallic taste and that I feel the skin dangling in there. She got grossed out and dropped it.

Now, my sister is asleep.

Peace,
M.D.

1st Kyu

Officially got my 1st Kyu, about fucking time.

Now, all I have to do is magically find a way to continue practicing shotokan karate so I can upgrade to a black belt. I hope I can enter my university next year as an illumni for karate.

Wah, today I cramped up so badly in karate that I actually thought I had my period. Talk about awkward.

The Decapitator

So, even when I skip karate, I still get palpitations on a Thursday? Is this a regular thing now?

I was just starting a work out with my sister when it happened. Not too bad though, only around 180 beats/ min.

That aside, I slept at 5 am yesterday working on a 2% report and studying for my PSYC midterm.

I'm so happy the weekend is here! I need to not procrastinate it. I decided to skip karate tonight because I was just exhausted and needed a break. It's amazing how much time karate consumes now. Four hours a week. It's pretty intense, and I enjoy it, but I wish I didn't have so many other things to do.

FC still did not get back to me on my new students to tutor. I seem to not find any time in my schedule to tutor, not because I'm too busy but rather most of their days are on Tuesdays, and they generally are done around 3:30 for one on one tutoring. It's rather annoying but understandable.
I hope I passed my 1st kyu retest. I'd hate to have "half passed" it again. Augh!

Today's lab included dissecting drosophila (fruit fly) larvae. I did most of the dissecting as I guess have a knack for it. We had to remove the salivary glands then stain it, and look at the chromosomes. It was rather interesting, I thoroughly enjoy dissections that one of my partners asked if I should be an examiner physician and be the one who classifies the causes of death.  Not too shabby.

Peace,
M.D.

Weathered Wednesday

It kinda makes me sad that I procrastinated writing and drawing about anime for so long...
I can't wait until I start face painting again in the summer. I at least have that to look forward to after my graduation. I'm mortified by the whole no plan thing. I mean, I have ALWAYS got a plan, and I do, but it is just not following through the way I wished for it to be.

I guess this is another rant on med school, I better end it here before I yank the hair roots out of my head.

Today I finished early with school, then helped my sister out slightly with her paper. I then went with her to pick up Lina and drove to Moxie or what ever to eat.

Two more friends showed up there and we ate...or rather pigged out. Consequence, diarrhea. As gross as it is, I don't know how else to state it. Just my sister and I though, we were badly dressed for the weather I suppose.

I have yet to be contacted by one of my volunteer places. It seems I will be switching students I tutor, but I'm still unsure who I will be with as my programmer is busy organizing this.

Also, tomorrow, I'll have a long day ahead of me. I hope it goes well, I'm really tired. Not as tired as first or second year of university, that was torturous. I just need to do better, I know I can, I just need to do my absolute best!

Peace,
M.D.

Research Assistant

Thank God my Mondays this semester are really good. Since I have only one class on Monday that starts at 1:00 pm, I was able to take the car to school... (yes, we have a Toyota Matrix now!)

After class I went to the library to take pictures of the assigned readings from a book on reserve at the library because I'm too cheap to buy the actual book. Why spend 160 dollars when I can access it for free?

Afterwards, I had 40 minutes left before the two hour parking space is at its limit, so I went to the Bird professor's office in order to finish parafilming the blood samples. I now volunteer as RA (research assistant) for one of the professors at my university. I think it is the most convenient volunteer position I have had thus far. It had taken me almost two hours to parafilm all the samples, but it was over today. Upon informing the prof of such, she informed me that I come often enough to the lab/ office that she will try to get me my own key. How flattering is that? I think that made my day! She did not seem to look forward to volunteer research assistants because she told me that they find difficulties committing to the job. She's not entirely wrong, I know I will slack off mid semester and probably deteriorate by the end of it. This is why I am doing my best to put as much of my free time between classes and after classes to help out. This will make me look good in front of her, first of all, as I do wish to impress. And second of all, I really do know my limits and I want to take advantage of the fact I have only one class on Monday, and that I some times drop by on Fridays to study with a friend.

After I was done with the blood samples, I drove to pick up my sister so we can go to the mall together. It really was nice hanging out together, we really have not been leaving the house together in such a long time. Maybe since we got back from Kuwait in early January!

We shopped for a gift for Lina, we got her a necklace and a birthday card. I hope she likes them, she has been really stressed with her boarding exams.
My sister then drove me home and went to the night class. My sister's classes this semester suck ass and I honestly am surprised she's not breaking down already. She usually gets extremely anxious and stressed, and while I know she is stressed, she seems to be handling it a lot better than before.
I should probably tell her that! I have a habit of keeping nice things in my head and saying mean things..that's not right.

I better go catch some sleep.

Peace,

M.D.

Unicorn man

Again, been so long to the point I'm unsure what to start with.
How I feel, what occurred recently, today's events, my achievements thus far, keeping up with current events..Augh..

There's too much to talk about that I'm overwhelmed.

Today, a friend I've been talking to since I was 12 has proposed to me online. I know nothing will happen, and I told him that. but he did tell me he's "kinda serious". Every once in a while he would bring up marriage as a statement. He was the first person to tell me that I would make a good wife. Maybe the only person to even say that, honestly. The person that kept talking to me about hugs until I've learned to accept them (I still don't like them from most people, but I definitely stopped dodging them!)
A lot of it is just basic maturity I suppose. He was also the first guy to tell me I'm beautiful and now he's the first to bring up marriage talk. I mean a bunch of other guy friends would joke about marriage with me. but, I guess he's the first. It's so odd that he's not even my type physically or personality wise. We don't even like the same things, certainly we talk differently, different cultures and religions...What does he see in me again?
He even talks to me about all the girls he likes or dated or just slept with...so I find it odd that he would want someone he never met in person. Makes me wonder how bad the women in his area are.
Imagine my parents' reaction to someone online marrying me.

"How did you meet?" They'll ask. What will I say?

I've been trying to make the guys I like dislike me.. I talk about other men in front of them so that they would know I too get attracted to other people. I talk about periods to disgust them. I joke around and say violent things. But since we're friends, I suppose I only grow on them.
On other news, another friend who keeps joking about marrying me as well has finally grown attracted to a girl. I don't know if he will try dating her or not, and it does hurt a bit..but I'm sorta happy for him.
I can't help but feel a bit sad that I'm not the centre of his attention, but I know it's only good for him to like someone he can date. I made that conclusion years back with the first guy.

Enough of that!

Today I broke one of the trays my sister had for my graduation "party", so I will try to look for another one in Winners'. I also talked to my mom on the phone for a bit then cooked roasted chicken. It actually tasted amazing, and I don't even like chicken! It could have been because I was fasting, 5 more days left. Muslimas will understand.

Also, I did not do much with regards to studying, which is stressing me out. I did; however, have a busy week and weekend, so it was nice to have a full day chilling by myself and relaxing and sleeping late.
Thank God my Mondays are not hectic, but I do have to go shopping for a gift for Lina!

Peace,
M.D.