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Tuesday, April 30, 2019

2018

I have not posted anything in this year, despite it being a great year.

As I stated in Despair, between the call centre job, the job and masters' applications, volunteer, grieving, and self worthlessness I was feeling, my mental health detoriated.

I continued applying to jobs, maybe a 100 applications were sent. I got accepted into a "financial services industry" which I might discuss more in five more years.

In this job transition, a man was interested in me, but I rejected him within two weeks.

Once accepted in the new job, I quickly quit the call centre.

I learned I was an INTJ personality, which was mind blowing for me. It really helped me shape and understand who I am and normalize my behaviour and emotions.

The hard work, hours, and efficiency I put into my job earned me the position of supervisor within 6 months.

I could have gotten there faster had I been more aggressive. Something I loved in that job, was I was being so appreciated. I was encouraged to be more aggressive and assertive instead of criticized for it.

But it wasn't perfect, and it had a glass ceiling.

I learned a lot in that job. I took many skills I never thought I would learn, such as reading computer cookies, and tracking accounts and activities through these cookies. I worked in Security and Investigations and I loved that it was challenging.

I ended up teaching it to others too and getting privileges in the company.

I also travelled to Hamilton for an interview, met with an online friend and got accepted at both Masters' programs I wanted from the very first application cycle, despite being late to both interviews.

I had given up on myself, but God hadn't given up on me.

Once I got accepted in the program, I talked to the director of the company. The only person higher than him, is the CEO himself.

He let me know that I'm welcome to work part-time, a position that did not exist in the company. He told me that he was surprised and disappointed with management that I wasn't promoted already. And that he was impressed with the comments I made in the group chats.

Managers I worked with were also impressed by me, and quite shocked to discover I'm a woman (communication is done through chatting and I have a unisex name). This always made me laugh in the office as it happened several times.

I just loved being appreciated, learning new things with minimal pressure/stress, and being useful to others.

I passed the first semester in physiotherapy through the skin of my teeth. It was not easy for me, as I do not have a kin. background, nor did I do honours. 15% of the class had failed and was asked to reapply the following year, but I wasn't one of them.

The isolation I felt from my classmates during the first semester only magnified in the second. However, I passed this semester too and onto placements!

Key messages: Be yourself, shamelessly. It too, shall pass.

Peace,
M.D.

First Physiotherapy Placement

Let's just say, it was not half as stressful as the course we took.

The first placement is a cardioresp. placement. It's in acute care unit in the hospital.

I was so anxious about it that I've been dreaming of falling teeth and professors for the past couple of days, but it wasn't stressful at all.

I need to write down my objectives, hit up some errands, and stop being so pushy.


Tomorrow, we will watch Avengers: Endgame.

Peace,
M.D.